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When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your anger. But
forgiveness is possible and it can be surprisingly
1 to your physical and
2 health.
"People who forgive
3 less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic
Luskin, Ph.D.,
4 of Forgive for Good. "So it can help
5 on the .wear and tear on our organs,
reduce the wearing out of the immune system and
6 people to feel more vital."
So how do you start the forgiveness? Try
7 these steps:
Calm yourself. To defuse (缓解) your
8 and try a simple stress-management technique.
"Take a couple of breaths and think of
9 that gives you pleasure: a
10 scene in nature, someone
you love," Luskin says.
Don't
11 an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no
12 of apologizing," Luskin
says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same
13 . So if you wait for
people to apologize ,you could be waiting a(n)
14 long time. "Keep in mind that forgiveness does not
necessarily mean
15 to the person who upsets you.
Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your
16 gives power to the person
who caused you pain. "
17 of focusing on your hurt feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and
kindness
18 you," Luskin says.
Try to see things from the other person's perspective (立场；视角). If you empathize (有同感)
with that person, you may
19 that he or she was acting out ignorance, fear even love.
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more
energy, better
20 and better sleep patterns. Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people,
forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Luskin says.
"But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it. "
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