When it comes to relationship, we spend a lot of time discussing their joys, but rarely talk about the pain when they break down. Yet most people have a story about a broken relationship.
For Jane Black, a six-year friendship ended when her friend was rude to one of her children. “After quite a few drinks at a party in my house, she said something rude to my child. I ended the friendship face to face at the party,” she says. “I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, I was simply standing up for my child, but in her eyes any challenge was a betrayal.”
When Angela Thompson noticed a seven-year friendship disappearing, she let it go. “I didn’t know how to deal with the issue. I didn’t sit down for a grown-up conversation; I just walked away quietly.” The decision caused a reaction among Thompson’s other friends. “The other friends in the circle are the worst people when you are trying to break up with a friend,” she says. “They don’t want you to stop being friends, because it puts them in a difficult position. You get told to just get it over.”
Though we have plenty of measures for handling conflict at work or family fight, we still don’t have good ways of ending friendships. Do we sit down and properly break up, or just walk away? Psychologist Serena Cauchy has the following advice.
Don’t blame.
Talk about your needs and feeling rather than talking like a Dutch uncle.
Do talk about your needs.
Talk about why the friendship is not working for you—about how your needs aren’t being met.
Don’t gossip.
Negative talk hurts everyone involved and in some cases can make matters worse.
Don’t be so accessible.
If there is a common wish to conclude the friendship, then you can remove it.
小题1:How did Angela Thompson deal with her friendship when it went wrong?
| A．She ended it face to face. |
| B．She left it as it was. |
| C．She turned to her friends for advice. |
| D．She made a direct challenge. |
小题2:According to the third paragraph, we learn the other friends________.
| A．will help you to fix a broken friendship |
| B．will choose either of the sides who broke up |
| C．will ask you to forgive each other |
| D．will be the worst people to break up with you at the same time |
小题3:Which is NOT mentioned by Psychologist Serena Cauchy?
| A．End the friendship if it can’t be renewed. |
| B．Don’t complain behind one’s back. |
| C．Express what you want and expect. |
| D．Sincerely talk about friends’ shortcomings. |
小题4:What would be the best title for the passage?
| A．A True Friendship | B．When Friendships disappear |
| C．How Friendships Last | D．Ways to Fix Friendships |